Teens and Pornography: Let’s Talk

Seriously, let’s talk. That wasn’t just meant to be a catchy title. It is time that we, as parents, start talking to our teenagers about their struggles with pornography. This problem is not going away; if anything, it will become more and more prevalent as the avenues for teenagers to view porn continue to expand. Teens are able to view porn through so many mediums that it is almost impossible to monitor everything. If a teenager wants to look at porn, they will likely find a way. The days where parents could lock down their teenager and completely block access to porn are slowly going away. Computer blocks? Many teens know how to bypass. Taking the computer away? What about all the phones and other devices with access to internet? You know…the ones that their friends have at school. What about all the kids out there who are willing to send your teenager pornographic texts? What about separate hard drives that you know nothing about? Parents are less able to police their teen’s access to porn than ever before. So what can parents do to help their teens who struggle with porn?

TALK ABOUT IT.

It is time that we lay everything on the table. It is time that we stop treating pornography addiction amongst teens as a secret sin that only a minority struggle with. The fact is that almost every teen will be exposed to pornography at some point. As parents, educators, counselors and pastors let’s stop tip-toeing around this issue as if we are still living in the 80’s when teens had to sneak to the corner store to try to catch a glimpse of the PLAYBOY magazines that were hidden behind the counter. This issue is no longer an isolated one. We must bring it out of the closet so that it can be dealt with in healthier ways. We must also stop dealing with pornography addiction in the same way we deal with a teenager who breaks curfew or who is caught in a lie. Pornography addiction is real and teenagers are a prime target to get hooked. They are curious about sex, underdeveloped emotionally, crave acceptance and attention and face unbelievable amounts of daily pressure they are ill-equipped to deal with. They almost all deal with shame on some level. A high percentage of them are extremely vulnerable to pornography addiction and are forced to deal with it in secret, which simply adds fuel to the fire. Handling pornography addiction by grounding your teen or taking away their cell phone for a week does nothing to address the real problem; that your teen is fighting a losing battle against a powerful enemy. Shaming them for it only feeds the animal. It is time we start coming alongside our teens in the fight for their hearts against the seductive and powerful forces of porn. It is time to stop punishing them and to start empowering them. I’m not talking about the teen that loves indulging in porn, sees nothing wrong with it and has no desire to stop. I am talking about the myriad of young men who escape into pornography, feel unbearable amounts of shame for it, are too frightened to tell anyone, and become caught up in a progressive web of addiction. These boys don’t need a good spanking…….they need parents who fearlessly go into the darkness with them. They need adults who face this battle realistically, knowing that their boys are going to fail as much as they succeed in the fight. These young men need counselors and mentors who will come alongside of them and help them find healthier ways to deal with the pressures and uncertainties of young adulthood. They need pastors and youth pastors who model intimacy with God so that these teens see that there is another way to handle life other than fantasy and escapism. They need adults who show them that the road of pornography is a path that promises so much but produces nothing for their lives except shame, poor relationships, and slavery to its demands. These teenagers need adults who are willing to talk with them about their desire to view porn.

So…let’s talk. Here are some tips for parents as they face this all-important issue:

• Be Proactive: Don’t wait for your teenager to come to you about pornography. It’s not enough to tell them you are there if they need to talk. Assume that they have had some kind of exposure to pornography and approach them. Be bold in confronting them about porn. The abundance of porn is no secret. Don’t bury your head in the sand and hope your teen is the exception. Be strong, sit him down, and talk to him maturely and with compassion.

• Be Prepared: Better acquaint yourself with the technology that gives your kids access to porn. Understand how they can get it, where they can store it, and the ways you can help them to control it. Also, do some research on the effects pornography addiction has on those who are caught up in it. There are many negative ramifications. It’s not just that pornography is lustful and, therefore, a sin. The dangers of porn are much more specific than that. Pornography addiction dehumanizes women and desensitizes men’s view of them; pornography is also a way to avoid genuine intimacy; reliance upon it can create huge problems when a man wants to be emotionally intimate with his girlfriend or spouse; pornography sets a man up for sexual problems later as normal marital sex, over the long term, cannot compete with the intensity and deviancy of porn. It sets up unrealistic expectations that only lead to dissatisfaction and the desire to act out again. This list is by no means exhaustive. The long-term effects of pornography addiction are a perfect example of the Enemy’s strategy of luring us in with promises of pleasure and then destroying us over a period of time. If you are going to march into battle with your teenager, make sure you are prepared.

• Be Patient: This is where many parents, especially Christian parents, falter. Many Christian parents still view pornography addiction as a behavior that must be continually punished rather than a serious issue that must be healed. Because of this perception, parents often dish out consequences and punishment when their teens fall “once again.” Dealing with pornography is uncomfortable and parents want the problem to go away quickly. They want their teenager to obey the rules and just “stop looking at it.” I wish it were always that easy. Pornography addiction is just that…an addiction. If we could simply snap our fingers and stop doing what we’re addicted to then there would be no need for any kind of rehabilitation programs or, for that matter, diets for those who can’t stop overeating. By the time that many teens realize that pornography is adversely affecting their lives they are already addicted. Parents must understand that this addiction will not go away immediately and that the teen is going to take steps both forward and back as they try to overcome the problem. Certainly parents need to work with a counselor in setting up household rules and boundaries that help to limit the behavior. However, the actual behavior is only a symptom of an underlying wound in the heart that must be healed. This is why parents need to approach the problem of pornography as it really is; a journey in which they come alongside their teen for better and for worse. If parents become impatient and start to resort, once again, to punishment as a way to handle the behavior the teenager simply begins the process of shameful hiding; the same process that led them down the road to addiction in the first place.

• Be Perseverant: Don’t give up on your teenager. Let them know that you will stick by their side through thick and through thin as they struggle against a powerful enemy. When you catch your teen viewing pornography AGAIN, show him compassion and strength rather than frustration and condemnation. Pornography addiction is real and it is vying for the hearts and souls of our young men. Be a warrior for your kids. When they are weak, lift them up with courage, resolve, and the encouragement to go on. Let them know that their problem with porn does not define their value; that they are your son and your love for them doesn’t fluxuate based on their when they are winning or when they are losing this battle. Continually help them to find the resources they need for the journey. When you find pornography in the home get rid of it and re-establish your defenses by adapting passwords, evaluating accountability software and parental controls. Consequences are also okay but the overriding theme must be understanding and love. Finally, be persistent in your prayers. This is a spiritual battle we are in. Intercede often for your sons and for your families. Lead your son to an intimate, ongoing relationship with God. The closer he walks with the Lord, the less he will want to turn to pornography when life gets difficult. Bottom line…….don’t give up and understand that your teen is not evil but simply in a fight for his life. Stay in the fight with him.

Parents, it is time to bring this issue out into the open. There is a dark power in secrecy, one that feeds the need to turn to pornography in order to lift one’s mood and escape the stresses of life. It’s time to take that weapon away from the Enemy. Let’s lift the curtain and trust that scripture is correct when it says that the truth sets us free. Let’s stop punishing and start communicating. We have fallen behind the Enemy in this war for the souls of our teens. He has infiltrated their lives and ensnared them with powerful shackles. He’s also done it by using sex and porn; subjects that many Christians see as taboo, awkward and try to avoid. In essence, Satan has assaulted our teens and used us to make the situation worse.

 

Porn is no longer about watching a video on a porn tube. It has become a lot more that just watching. It’s shifted to actually experiencing it. Virtual Reality porn makes it possible for anyone with a smartphone and a headset to live his or her fantasy. If you want, you can watch free vr porn online on VRLaid.com.

Pornography As a Turn-On for Fun-Driven Adult Sex

Adventurous couples can buy a pornographic video and watch it together. That is generally a surefire way to end up in bed. In fact, it is usually when couples are in bed that they watch such films. And if the film is a good one they will enjoy being turned on as they watch it. Many couples find that the provocative content stimulates them to duplicate what is being viewed. They are impulsively driven to touch each other, kid around, mimic the sex acts, and swing from the imagined chandelier as they tickle each other’s fancy.

In many countries in the world, including most industrialized ones, pornography is not banned or hidden from view. For example, at King’s Cross district in Sydney, Australia a section of the city is designated to show and sell pornography Sex oriented videos, DVDs, books, sex toys, lubricants, assumed aphrodisiacs, are sold in kiosks and stores. Strip clubs, restaurants, massage parlors and other clubs are available to meet members of the opposite sex.

In Europe, in many countries, and cities pornography is not hidden and thus available for adults. In all the countries there are restrictions to the sale of pornography to children and prosecution of offenders is open and continuous.

In the US pornography is not banned from sale to adults although there is no tolerance on anyone abusing the Child Pornography laws.

But for the purpose of improving the sex life of adults pornography has a place for some. Do you have to be lonely or hard-up to use porn? The answer is No. Porn can be a substitute for sex for many lonely and sex starved adults, mainly men, and for adults without a partner who like visual stimulation for self-arousal.

Finally, let’s examine whether pornography can fit into the armamentarium of the average adult who wishes for increased stimulation for lovemaking. What can porno offer?
As with any movie there is added stimulation by watching real pictures compared to imaging such scenes. Some porno videos actually tell a reasonable story where there is more than just sexual exploitation. So some selection is necessary. Google is a good resource to discover what are considered the best sex videos made in the past few decades.

Beside adding visual stimulation couples can mimic what they see, learn about new positions, empathize with the excitement of the sex partners, imagine participating in the viewed sex, experience sex beyond their own interests, such as gay, bi, S and M, bondage, oral and anal sex, and the use of fetishes. Some show dancing, foreplay that could be stimulating and perhaps above all can act as a stimulus to open the viewers to become freer and lustier about sex.

If you attempt to try out the benefits of sex videos and it is new to you imagine becoming an adventurer and explorer so you don’t take a negative bias into your viewing. An open mind will allow you to gain what might be there for you. At the very worst it won’t have any effect on you and may even turn you off. If so, just chalk it up as another interesting experience.

To determine if pornography may be a stimulus for your personal sex life approach its use openly. It might be a new vehicle for greater enjoyment of sex for occasional use or even frequent use. Remember adults have no restrictions on what they mutually do and prefer behind closed doors. So enjoy the movies and enjoy the sex and know you have taken another step to gaining a new stimulus for sex and love.

by Marvin H. Berenson, M.D. July 12, 2011

To discover new and effective ways to have a wonderful, romantic love life and to become a great lover, my book “Love and Sex” offers frank and wide-reaching information. You will find a truly in-depth look at what actually happens during sex and how to overcome sexual difficulties. By reading this book you can change your love life.

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Men are facing issues on bed and it’s all related to sex. When you are not satisfied in your sex life then you tend to confront many relationship issues with your partner. When people find problems in their love life then they tend to move to some counselors to get the right direction of getting their love life back but for people, who go through issues like losing interest in sex or lack of stamina, usually hesitate in consulting counselors or doctors. For those people herbal sex medicine for men is available in the market that can be taken without any prescription.

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Herbal medicines to save sex life:

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Sex medicine helps in combating sex issues:

A sex medicine possesses hot potency that makes it sufficient enough to combat various sex ailments caused by hectic schedules. Men don’t have to worry about sex issues like early ejaculation, low stamina, no power on bed or bad performance in sex. There is a remedy available for those people who confront such situations such as sex medicine for male are available for men in ayurveda that is completely free from all sort of side effects.

Various ingredients used in ayurvedic medicine for sex:

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Things To Know About Fad Diets

eople who have undergone weight loss in the past very well know what it takes to lose those extra flabs on the body; a long term commitment. Still the fact looms that savvy dieters occasionally get tempted by the swift weight loss promised by fad diets. Some people tend to get over the negatives associated with most fad diets as each new �lose weight quickly’ ploy comes along, possibly due to the lack of knowledge about the food items that carry nutritional value and those that don’t. Today, people easily get attracted towards fad diets as many don’t get the proper guidance on staple diet and due to inadequate information through proper channel. Given ahead are some basic but important points that each one must consider before getting towards fad diets.

Beware About Magical and Passing Claims

It’s typically a human nature to be attracted to fad diets, which promise quick and easy results. There isn’t any standard definition of a fad diet. Following are some of the points that indicate a weight loss plan is an ineffective fad diet.

The diet claims to be a swift weight losing diet at quite an unrealistic pace The claims sound too good to be true
The diet’s suggestions seem extreme as well
Statements made about the diet are disproved by reputable scientific organizations
These fad diet involves crash dieting or very intense reductions in eating and drinking

Popularity of Fad Diets

One question that still looms over is why do fad diets become the craze? Several factors typically lead to their popularity. They are:

�Quick weight loss claims: In this age of everything instant, it’s natural for anyone to fall for a weight loss plan that promises swift weight loss in Mumbai in only weeks instead of months
�Endorsements by Celebrity: Some celebrities endorse for such fad diets without really knowing the truth
�Mentality of �Elimination’: The idea that cutting out some foods will lead in quick weight loss plays into popular beliefs about dieting. Several of these diets promote elimination of one or multiple food groups for a set number of days or in very particular combinations with some sort of trick. Many people aren’t ready for dieting the natural way and thus willingly accept this type of weight loss plan, at least for a brief period.
�Sheer Pressure: If friends and relatives are following a fad diet, then it’s tempting to join in.

Question Related to Fad Diets

The most vital question about any weight loss plan is not whether it’s effective, but whether it’s safe and healthy for you. Several fad diets do work for a short period of time, generally causing you to drop pounds due to probably unhealthy calorie reduction or water weight loss. However, while you enjoy the benefits of this new swift weight loss plan, you also need to consider its overall nutritional content. The sad part is, several fad diets do not meet the nutritional requirements of most people and set an individual up for failure. When the diet fails, the dieters could blame themselves and develop a feeling of demoralization and hopelessness. This can make it harder to make the healthy changes required for long term weight loss.

Fad diets can often be confusing and can mislead individuals who look for quick weight loss. So, it’s best to follow recommendations by reputable organizations or nutrition experts who can guide you through a healthy weight loss.

Is a Pornography Addiction a Big Deal?

There are many wide ranging views on pornography, not to mention a pornography addiction. Some people view all pornography as an illness while others feel that it’s really nobody’s concern what you view in your own home. In order to meet the standard criteria set forth to qualify as an addiction, one would have to say that if the user can’t go without watching their pornography, there is a problem.

One of the biggest problems with ignoring a pornography addiction is that it can lead to more severe behaviors. It’s not that big of a step from the chronic use of porn to heightening the level of the high by heightening the seriousness of the pornography. This can lead to moving onto sadistic and child pornography and then into things like snuff films. All of these are highly illegal and can certainly be considered immoral even by those who support the use of adult pornography.

Many pornography addicts move toward sexual addiction. While it’s not true for all individuals who are thoroughly addicted to pornography, there is a link between escalating behaviors and escalating pornography preferences.

The chronic use of pornography is not just a men’s disease. There are plenty of women addicts who fly under the radar because they are women. Most people, even some professionals, have a strong gender bias when it comes to women and their use of pornography.

Regardless of where you stand on the issue itself, any behavior that interferes with normal relationships, family time, and work related issues is problematic. Many addicts choose to use the late night hours when the household is asleep before they delve into serious pornography. This allows them privacy. Privacy is the first step to hiding the frequency as well as the content of the pornography of choice.

It can be difficult to recognize the signs when you have a rather open mind on the issue. If you feel there is nothing wrong with watching the material, it may be much harder for you to be able to recognize the symptoms of an actual addiction.

Getting help for an addiction to pornography is vital. This is generally not an addiction that can be handled on one’s own because access is so incredibly easy. It may not seem like it, but to an addict of pornography even suggestive television can prompt urges. It is within everyone’s best interest that an addict receives intervention counseling as soon as possible. The loss of family, friends, and livelihood can depend on how early treatment is sought and accepted.